Friday, September 01, 2006


Dig all the ways you can deliver that line...

Who wants to be a superhero?
Who wants to be a superhero?
Who wants to be a superhero?

This may not jibe with the casual reader's impression of me, but believe it or not, I'm not actually a comic book geek. If one were to read through some of my past entries, they'd be excused for the misconception - seeing as they'd come across a cornucopia of super-hero metaphors; comparisons drawn between, say, a caffeine high from a particular type of coffee and some random character's superpowers (I.E. - "weak diner coffee is to the 1980's incarnation of The Flash as Turkish coffee is to the Golden Age, time-busting, 'speeding up my molecules in order to enter Dairy Queen without utilizing the door' version of The Flash." No, I never actually wrote that before, but it's apt, so there it is now.)

I'm certainly known to enjoy the occasional comic book - a black and white indie or a dog-eared issue of The Avengers, selected haphazardly from the "4 for a dollar" bin at the lonely shop up on East Colfax. Sometimes I'll even read "The Classics", assuming they're reprinted under one cover and available at a reasonable price. And I have some definite geek tendencies; I get goose-bumps on the rare occasion that a comic book movie "gets it right". Like when MJ delivered the classic line "Go get 'em, Tiger..." at the end of Spiderman 2. Or when Superman fixed the great wall of China by utilizing his little known "brick and mortar vision" in Quest for Peace. You know, all that stuff that's right out of the funny books.

Superman IV - Great Wall of China Vision
I can appreciate a comic for all the cool, detached, ironical crypster reasons; I can appreciate them for the pseudo - Joseph Campbell "it's contemporary mythology!" reasons, and I can appreciate them for the sheer visceral pleasure of groovy pichers. Like Jack "The King" Kirby's "Kirby Krackle", the fizzy-pop distortion in the fabric of reality that accompanies cosmic characters like The Silver Surfer. Or Darkseid. Or me, when I'm dancing. (Seriously, people, it's a thing of beauty)

But honestly, I don't think that makes me a comic book geek - whether the connotation is meant positively or negatively. I don't have hundreds of four-color, FABULOUS 1ST ISSUE!s hermeticly sealed in plastic bags, indexed by "inker" and locked away in a filing cabinet, right alongside my hopes of ever seeing a real-live naked woman. I don't argue in chat rooms over who the best X-Men writer is. I don't even own a trench coat.

Sure, every now and then I imagine that Caffeinator_X is a guy with a great set of abs, a cruiser bike that transforms into a cybernetic exo-skeleton, and the ability to inflict his enemies with the less desirable effects of coffee (jitters, paranoia, "hafta poop now", etc.) just from his stare. And true, I did get a call back for the show, based on my initial application (for the all-new, all-different character "CENTRIFUGE! The Flippin' Idiot!"). But I never could have beat that "Feedback" guy, who looks like one of those Larimer Square crotch-rocket dudes who dress up like they're Japanese animation.

But really... do I want to be a superhero? Nah. I want to be a writer. Or, a paid blogger... that'd be good.

And someday - dream of dreams - I'd like to have my own coffeeshop. And I'll tell you what... somebody who shares that dream could do a HELLUVA lot worse than SML Coffee, off of Washington and Speer. I got the following message from proprietor Brian, just yesterday...

SML Coffee shop for sale - $20,000

Here is an opportunity to own a start up coffee shop at a ridiculously low price.

All the start up work has been done for you.

Lease negotiations
Build out
Building dept. sign offs
Initial customer base created
Equipment purchased and installed
Tables and chairs
Supplies stocked and ready
Take over the coffee shop, make it your own and make it great.

The customer base is strong and the potential growth is even stronger.

There is opportunity for additional signage and expansion onto the adjacent patio area.

The shop is in a really cool building on the busy corner of Speer and Washington with free parking in the attached lot and additional parking on the street.

Price includes all equipment and supplies, most of the furniture and all the customers.

Please email to schedule an appointment

Now, I gotta tell ya - this breaks my heart. That "make it your own, and make it great"? Yeah, it's already great. Though it doesn't have the hang-out-all-night vibe of Monkey Bean (moment of silence, yo); in the short amount of time since it opened, SML has become one of my favorite places in town.

So take heed, whoever jumps on this... don't you dare change a thing. Keep each and every one of the baristas - especially that slim-hipped morning guy who whips up dry cappuccinos the consistency of milk-shakes. Keep the Wednesday movie night. And keep Brian's promise to me to have an annual showing of Bucket of Blood, every Halloween.

Do all that, baby, and you'll be MY superhero.


blackpetunia said...

Oh, my god! Did you see all the Stella's in this photo?!
aweseome, I don't even care about superheros, how could I when alll I care about is bringing my Stella (luna) closer to her own kind.??

blackpetunia said...

I always type too fast for my own good.
20,000? That's it? What's the catch. I'LL MOVE back to Colorado for that. That's been my dream for too long. What the hell? What happened? Why are you going to do this? (ok, I'm not really trying to push here, I am just numbed by the 20K, is that for real?, in Denver?)

blackpetunia said...

Uh, I meant why are(n't) you going to...

caff said...

That's my best friend's club, The Scarabs, outside SML. (It's actually right over by Cassie and Josh's place).

You should move here, join the club, and we'll see each other all the time... I'll be riding cupcake behind Scooterdad.

It's hard... not only do I not have that sort of money... I don't even have the CONTEXT in my mind for that kind of money. I know... loans and stuff... but my brain is just hardwired "Money that is not green and papery = debt".

It's on a one-way street going AWAY from Capitol Hill / Downtown, it's not completely visible from the main street it's on, and there's no kitchen. (that last one is actually a PLUS for me) And the asthetic Brian has set up for himself has never been affected by the other 2 things. It reminds me A LOT of some of the smaller-than-Bauhaus places in Seattle... just one of those places you go because you know there's good coffee. It's not a hippie place at all, but it's very comfortable, the design is really modern - clean lines, cement floors...

sigh... I'm gushing again...

caff said...

er... make that "scooterdad"

this and that said...

move back and take over this place...that would be sweet. There was actually a coffeeshop in Congress Park that sold for $5,000 awhile ago. But there is a lot to factor on top of the 20k buy out. The 20k is steep if you factor in the monthly lease and misc monthly costs without a definite profit. And being self employed myself, you need at least that much in savings til a profit is made. BUT...I hope caff x gets to have his place someday. I know he would make it great!
It is absolutely sad how many great locally owned coffee shops are not making it. The field of good places is dwindling. Whoever takes this place over should be trained by the owner because he seriously makes the best cappuccinos!

cassie d said...

yes yes! move to denver to open the coffee shop!

i'll work for you and tell smelly hippies to get a job!

then i'll tell all your old squatter chums they can't have free coffee ALL the time -

and maybe you'll make a certain percentage of sales from tobacco, so we can SMOKE in it and drink our coffee!!!