All right, so what do you think? I’m pretty sure this is post-modern, what with all the irony (a 24 hour convenience store is made up to look like a fictional convenience store, which was based on the original convenience store in the first place. Dude, that’s like post-post-modern) and without a doubt it’s “meta”… but is it possible that this crosses all the way over to “trans” – the latest pseudo-intellectual prefix to get jimmied onto the front-end of all the latest pseudo-intellectual concepts?
The only thing that creeps me out more than the people who are standing out in front of the store taking pictures of their family is the fact that *I* myself, stood out front and took pictures. Because, dear reader, I don’t care how totally jaded you are -- this is freaking AWESOME! Best marketing stunt EVER! Way better than the tie-ins for that crap “Transformers” movie that I was legally bound to sit through, what with being the father of a six year old and all. It almost makes me proud to practically, nearly have a toe-hold in the utmost furthest corner of the advertising / marketing industry.* They even have the Indian guy behind the counter, wearing a Kwik-E-Mart shirt - which on some level is an affront to my knee-jerk liberalism, but considering he’s probably studying to be a heart surgeon, and will one day save the life of that kid in line with a deep love of taqitos, he’ll be getting the last laugh.
I didn’t pick up a Squishee (I mean, come on, they weren’t even Chutney flavored. Talk about your missed opportunities!), but after tap tap tapping away my last entry, I did swing by to satisfy my craving for the Sponch! which I washed down with some of 7-11’s signature Energy Coffee. The resulting concoction is probably bonding to my colon on a molecular level as I write; but, hey! It was pretty damn tasty. Perfect junk food to go with the perfect junk culture experience!
Unlike the many other Ted Campbells on the interwebs, I'm neither a minister, nor a professional motorcyclist, nor a gay realtor from Florida.
What I AM is an ass-kickin' father, a corporate schlep, and an occasional freelance writer.
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