(get your minds out of the gutter, kids!)
Sorry I haven’t posted in a while… lots going on. We took a whirlwind trip to St. Louis last week, where I was lucky enough to see The Joffrey Ballet’s Nutcracker. Once, just the wife and me, and again with both kids, who got to meet all the dancers up close after the show. I got to watch my daughter cower in fear from the dread Drosselmyer (who my son refers to as “that vampire man”), and then cuddle up to the snow queen. My father-in-law, the executive director for Dance St. Louis, told me that the dancer who performed Drosselmyer is in his 40’s. How come I don’t have quads like that? “Bar exercises”? Yeah, so what? I go to the bar sometimes...
Also, I had 3 stories due in the last week, including one with an amazing DJ / visual artist named Wigdan Giddy; turned out pretty well, if I do say so myself. He’s showing his work next month at The Martini Ranch, so I encourage everyone to put aside their slavish rejection of Lodo for a night to check out his work.
PLUS… I’m waiting to hear back on an Incredibly Awesome Opportunity, which I’m really not at liberty to talk about it right now. Which means, of course, it’s the only thing on my silly little monkey mind. Therefore (ergo, Q.E.D., and all that) I’ve chosen to keep my virtual lips zipped, for the time being. I should know how that will turn out soon-ish, and no matter what happens, I’ll have lots to say about it at that time.
In the meantime - let's do this thing!
1. When you were born, how much did you weigh?
You know, I really don’t recall – but I’m sure I thought I looked fat.
2. What's you're sugar poison?
Like BD, I’m really more of salty guy, but lately, I have rediscovered my palate for Slurpees.
3. If you had to choose between meat and cheese for the rest of your life, which would you choose? Then be specific.
Funny – the thought of being without either really doesn’t really toss me into the pit of despair. I’d miss dairy though (cappuccino made with soy / rice / vegan’s breast milk is just plain wrong)
4. What, is your opinion, is the worst song ever?
Yeah, “Proud to be an American” popped straight away into my head. Since 2 other folks chose the same thing, I think we could make a strong case for it being a "fact". Something about guys in John Deere hats with their chins up, dewy-eyed with the sniffles just fills me with alternating currents of contempt and embarrassment.
Other than that – pretty much any of those neo-country faith/family/ “I love my little tiny daughter so much it’s creepy” songs.
5. Who was your favorite teacher growing up and why?
I had a couple good ones in junior high, which bears mentioning, since everything else about my junior high experience was absolutely wretched. Other than that, it’s a tie between two from high school; Mr. Studholme, who was one of those awesome, cable-knit sweater-wearing, all-day coffee sipping English teachers, kind of like an emotionally stable, in-shape version of Paul Giamatti in “Sideways”. I always knew I could write, but he taught me how to actually read (not just “sound out the words” stuff). The other was Mr. (Dr.?... it was never clear) Talmage-Bowers. He taught a class in Western Civilization that turned me into the philosopher-hobbyist I am today.
6. What personal activity, when performed in public, bothers you the most?
I could eavesdrop on private conversations in a coffee shop all day long, no matter how pretentious or utterly pointless; but I hate hate HATE women who babble incessantly on their cellphones, describing their life in vivid detail, as if it’s the best episode of Sex in the City EVER.
In person - hell yes; but over the phone, it’s just so canned.
7. Ok, there's a $50 bill lying on the ground. You pick it up. Dumbfounded by your incredible luck, what do you selfishly purchase?
Some books. Coupla CDs. The change would get me my coffee for the remainder of the week.
8. Do you have a recurring nightmare? If so, explain.
(Keep in mind that in “waking life”, I’m a high school dropout) I’m, like, 20 years old, and I’ve gone back to school in order to graduate. It’s the day of report cards, and I find out I’ve STILL failed (…something… usually science); Oh, well, just one more semester, right?
Then I realize I’m actually 35.
Haven’t had that one in a while. Great… now I’ll probably have it tomorrow morning. Thanks a lot.
Also, I lose a lot of teeth in my dreams. And I have long, flowing locks of hair when I look in the mirror.
9. Name one place on Earth you've never been, but vow to visit at least once.
Europe. And Europe. Oh, and, Europe.
10. You notice that question #9 wasn't really a question. You feel smart for catching such a small detail. What else can you do really well that reminds you how smart you are?
If being married 10 years has taught me one thing, it’s the fact that there’s absolutely no difference between a question, and a command for information. (OOOoooh, I’m gonna hear about it on that one…)
“do really well”… “makes me feel smart”… ?
There’s stuff, but I can always be better!
About the Author
7 years ago