Friday, October 12, 2007

Whoop-Ass by the 12 Pack

I have a story in next week’s A.V. Club called “Around the World at a Mile High” (unless the editor changes that… he’s got a better handle than I do on oh-so-clever titles). In it, I showcase all the different international markets that Denver has to offer; the specialty cuisines they sell, the idiosyncratic packaging (Hello, Kitty on EVERYTHING. Swear to god, I half-expected to cough up a hairball after choking down a stick of Pocky); the sugary sweet junk food confections that are anathema to our less-refined ‘Merican taste buds (in South America, Nutella is considered the most delicious, creamiest manna ever to be brought down by Zues from on high by. And hey! Did you know that the Frito Lay Company sells cheese-less Cheetos to our lactose intolerant friends across the Pacific? Did you know there were any dairy products in Cheetos at all?)

I kept the coffee references to a minimum for this one, seeing as 3 of the 4 stories I’ve had published so far revolve around the stuff. Still, I couldn’t help but make reference to the brewing equipment available at the Jerusalem Market. Especially considering that, along with smoking paraphernalia, they didn’t sell much else.

Entirely purged from the article is my love of Asian canned coffees. After all, it’s something I’ve covered extensively enough on this very blog. And I’m trying – trying - to avoid that “alt-weekly” writer thing where all my stories read like a hipster’s diary entry about “Hey, look how interesting I am. Aren’t I just fascinating, what with my juxtaposing interests in all things low and high culture?”, those little trademark touches, kind of like how Kevin Smith puts his stupid friends in all his movies, or how Quentin Tarantino puts his foot fetish on display in all of his. (Particularly a problem, as he focuses so often on Uma Thurman’s nasty-ass dogs. Yech.)

Not only that, but I’ve pretty much been through all of the varieties that you can get here in Denver. There’s a big, wide world of other options available out there, like 12 oz., recyclable holy grails, all of which I have yet to get my hands on.

Luckily, though, for those of us land locked and without the ways and means to go meandering across the globe at the drop of the hat, there’s this site. Seriously, the Japanese know how to turn even the most mundane consumer experience into a veritable cornucopia of high-kitch stimulus.

Go. Now. Dig!


MrDanger said...




vivavavoom said...

oh the infamous 'road trip'. what is this year 7 or 8?